Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Salty's Fish and Chips | 8-3960 Shelbourne Street | 250.590.6162


There is a time in every addict's life when he/she is deafened by the thud of his/her health and dignity hitting the bottom of the barrel. I came all to close to crashing through the bottom of the pit a couple weeks ago at Salty's.

What compels a man to have three pieces of fish and chips for breakfast, when he knows a breaded breaky cannot provide the comfort he seeks? I was walking a tightrope at Salty's—trying to consume just enough grease and oil to feel triumphant, but I went too far. Gourging on fish and chips can place you in a fog of regret at the best of times, but going into it ten minutes after getting out of bed completely gassed me.

The light breading of the cod tricked me into thinking I was going to have an easy ride: not so. About halfway through my third piece I was labouring. Other food addicts know the feeling—eating is no longer about pleasure, it's about persevering towards a respectable performance.

There are a lot of fish and chips options in town, and Salty's may not be the best, but you could do a lot worse (I'm told Pluto's is a significantly more blech AYCE experience). However, the fish at Salty's tasted like it was probably frozen at some point in its journey to my plate, and this didn't make eating all-you-can-eat style any easier.

This would have been fine as a lunchtime meal, but after three pieces and half a plate of Mcain's style fries; I was seriously considering an Alaimo style swearing off of any further attempts to try and eat my way to piece of mind. Another helping of chips (yes it's not just the fish that is AYCE) and I could have ended up doing something drastic... like chasing a dream, or getting involved in sports, or whatever else people ditching vices do.

However, it was obvious that my post-Salty's hangover had not been the I've-lost-my-septum-because-I'm-blowing-my-mind-on-yak-every-night-and-yesterday-it-got-too-much-so-I-tried-to-hang-myself-in-my-parents-garage-but-I'm-fat-and-the-moosehead-I-was-using-as-a-brace-got-ripped-out-of-the-wall-and-now-I-am-rethinking-my-teenage-wild-girl-lifestyle type of realization that others have had. Days later I was in a car on my way Pizza Hut Buffet in Duncan—and it was glorious.

Food is still the best vice of all, and I'm not giving it up. If Salty's helped me realise this, perhaps it's worth a trip for you too.


Price: $12
All-You-Can-Eat is only available Tuesdays

Rating: 3.3



Sunday, January 31, 2010

The Guide

A while ago the Eating the Road blog penned what is by far the best step-by-step strategy guide to attacking buffets that I have ever come across. The guide was recently updated for 2010, and I didn't post it before, so here it is.

Monday, December 28, 2009

Special holiday message from yours truly



Hello everyone,

As 2009 dawns into a new decade, I have to say the 2000's were a time of discovery and fun for myself. While the world was apparently going to shit, I was taking a shit from eating way to many cinnamon egg rolls at the wonder wok. It makes me realize how truly lucky I really am to be alive, and to have been a resident of Victoria, B.C for so many wonderful, memorable years. Again, as we approach a new decade, change sets in. Personally, change comes in the form of location. For the foreseeable future I will be residing in Toronto, Ontario, and my status regarding buffet reviewing remains unchanged; however, this blog remains in the best of hands, and there is absolutely nobody other than Donald Kennedy who I trust more with taking the Buffet Blog into the next decade. As I sit in this rack shack cafe, stealing free internet and listening to a remix of "I cant go for that" by Hall and Oates, I reminisce and almost cry thinking about the times that are behind me. But as I look out the window, I know there is so much waiting for me. Take care my loves, and until next time, screw healthy eating.

-guy

Monday, December 21, 2009

La Tenampa Mexican Restaurant | Duncan, B.C. | 2A-5838 Trans Canada Highway | 250.701.0175


So I guess this is where I start off the review by making some joke about skids and rednecks and small town life in Duncan right? WRONG! I'm tired of all these lazy-ass fleece vest wearing writer types thinking they're some kind of Dave Barry because they made a no-teeth joke when writing about a small town. Friday Pizza Hut Buffet pretty much makes Duncan an oasis on this island, and I won't use its people to generate a few hacky hyucks.


Conveniently located across the parking lot from Pizza Hut in Duncan is Le Tenampa Mexican Restaurant: a good go-to buffet for when you've accidentally trekked up island on a Thursday instead of a Friday.

The buffet here is mostly filled with build-your-own taco/fajita/burrito fix-ins, but there are a few stand alone items as well. The "Mexican Lasagna", essentially beef mixed with Taco Time seasoning and topped with cheese, is absolutely perfect for piling on top of taco chips and making your own haystacks: we're talking pretty primo comfort food here. I didn't sample the pasta salad or the cornbread, but Auggie assured me that both were fairly top notch by buffet standards. A mild chili which consists mostly of beef and kidney beans is decent, but not good enough to make me choose it over the lasagna or other items.

Fajita vegetables, Mexican rice, re-fried beans, as well as shredded (and ground) beef and chicken are your main taco filler options here. The shredded beef is the definite winner as far as meat options go, while the re-fried beans and Mexican rice were both fresh and, though simple, tasted much better than offerings I have encountered at similar restaurants. The soft shell tacos at La Tenampa leave something to be desired, but the fajita shells are good, standard fare. To get the most out of this buffet though, you'd be well advised to ditch housing units all together as this will free up space in your stomach.


House made salsa and guacamole are available at the salad bar and both are decent. At the very least the guacamole beats Yucatan, and the salsa was the sort of simple mix you might make for yourself at home. Enchilada sauce is also available, but it's not exactly bursting with boldness and heat; I'd recommend sticking to sour cream and salsa.

Last, but not least, tater tots and mojo potatoes are a very welcome addition to this buffet. Although I associate mojos more with fried chicken, the tots do a good job of rounding out the whole fresh, non-crappy Taco Time vibe this place has. La Tenampa is just a flat-out great place to enjoy the fun and friendly feel that a good buffet spot generates.


Jimmy Nguyen Offers Up a Short Essay on Mexican Social Mores!!!!


After being couped up in the ride way the fuck up to Duncan in the back of a beater, I was just glad to get out and let the blood rush back into my legs before they cramped up: finding my way into the restaurant was only a secondary concern. The past few weeks leading up to this trip haven't been particularly kind to me in terms of weather, so I needed some temporary relief in the form of food to at least take my mind somewhere tropical. As you can see I was happier than a Mexican who just got a green card when I stepped through the doors of La Tenampa.

We stood for a moment in front of the buffet line—dazed by the choices presented to us. Meat dishes of all kinds were available, well sort of—a fair portion of them were beef variations.

What the deuce, we've gone too far to turn back now! I loaded up my plate(s) and made my way back to the table, anticipating a hearty feast as the wind and cold raged on outside. I swear the moment I brang the spoon up to my lips, ready to line up the first bite, I could hear the mariachi band playing the tunes in my head (and what a delightful feeling that was). The cheese was nicely melted on the ground beef, the limited selection of vegetables were compensated for by the freshness and preparation, and the serious supplies of other side features make this a truly ass-kicking build-your-own taco experience. I still can't get over how crunchy the taco gets with a simple combination of Mexican lasagna and tater tots.

I blinked and four plates found their way to my side of the table and back. Needless to say, even I was impressed that I could put that much buffet food into my system (and for once feel like it wouldn't do any gastro-intestinal damage).

Our entourage left the place with readjusted belt sizes, an extra few pounds each, and the feeling of a huge Mexican party going on in our stomachs. A straight-up fiesta with Mexican dudes drinking beer and cracking jokes while Paco takes a whack at the pinata, only to deliver an embarrassing miss and have all the chicas and mamacitas laugh at him. I wouldn't have left if not for the fact that there was no more room in my belly. The only thing I could think about in regards to these partiers was "I'll be back, pendejos!"


Price For Lunch: $11.50 (after tax)
Rating: 3.9


Sunday, December 20, 2009

Small Changes

Hey Everyone,

I've made two minor navigational changes to the blog recently.

  1. Search bar! Now you can easily search the entire blog by using that lovely google search bar located just to the right of this post.

  2. Added an easy to find RSS subscription gadget - you'll find it halfway down the side bar. I'm surprised I did not add this sooner as I'm an avid user of google reader.
I hope this makes it easier for everyone to find the information they seek!

Cheers and Merry Christmas!

Angelo

Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Un-Official Statement on the Future of the Buffet Blog

Two months ago we all received some debilitating news. It was at this time when Guy Alaimo, head-writer and CEO of the Victoria Buffet Blog, announced his retirement from the world of buffet critique. Since this announcement, the future of the Victoria Buffet Blog has been in doubt. Today I would like to ensure blog readers, and the public at large, that the Buffet Blog is not dying.

I am a long time contributor to the Buffet Blog, and would like to announce today that I will be taking over head-writing duties until either Mr. Alaimo returns to the blog, or he chooses a successor. These are exciting times in the Victoria all-you-can-eat/buffet world: summer saw the opening of a buffet at the Indian Market, the premiere of Posh on the island, and the advent of a Sunday brunch buffet at the Loghouse Pub.

In the coming months expect coverage of the Empress' curry buffet, the pending grand opening of Kuku's Buffet, and updates on previously reviewed eateries. At this time I plan to update the blog once every three months or so. I will admit this marks a drop in content, but I believe the alternative of no blog at all is a far harsher reality.

I would like to thank Guy, and his brother Angelo for their unwavering commitment to the championing of buffet culture over the past year and a half. I would also like to thank Guy for allowing me to be part of the outstanding community service that is the Buffet Blog. I look forward to attempting to take a walk in his shoes.

Sincerely,

Donald Kennedy
Head-Writer/Founder Victoria Burger Blog
Contributor Victoria Buffet Blog

Monday, September 21, 2009

Posh | 102-1063 Fort Street | 250.382.7674 | www.303-posh.com

All-You-Can-Eat Sukiyaki

Goddamnned camera sucks balls in low-light. My apologies.

Having finally secured a job that offers me more than ten hours a week, and having also received a little bridge financing from the 'rents, I decided to celebrate my good fortune through gluttony with a trip to Posh. Posh recently expanded operations (there are already three locations in Vancouver) a few weeks ago by unveiling its first Victoria restaurant in a spot formerly occupied by Med-Grill. Sukiyaki style cooking arms eaters with a shallow cooking pot filled with sukiyaki sauce (a sort of sweet soya sauce) and cabbage. You toss some meat and veges in there, let 'em soak up the sweetness of the cabbage water/sauce mix, and then dip your meat in raw egg if you feel so inclined (different from Shabu Shabu where you do not cook directly in sauce).

At Posh your options for meat are beef, pork, cod, and fish cakes. For vegetables you've got an array of mushrooms, yam, zuchinni, and probably a few other things I forget. You also have the ability to toss udon noodles into the pot as well as vermicelli, tofu, and baked tofu.

The meaty shitake mushrooms are the highlight here as they maintain a good texture after cooking, and the sweetness of the sukiyaki blends well with the flavour of the shitake. The pork and beef cooked up pleasantly in the sauce, but weren't as enjoyable flavour-wise as the Korean BBQ-style options you get at Sura on Douglas. The soft, eggy coating, however, does combine with the sweet sauce in a way that allows each meaty morsel to wrap its way around your mouth fabulously.

The cod is a definite disapointment here however, as it tastes like a sour, sweaty fishmonger's shop smells in the heat of the early afternoon (in other words, "too fishy"). Overall eating at Posh is an enjoyable experience, but sukiyaki is perhaps better enjoyed in a non all-you-can-eat format: the food is good, but it all sort of starts tasting the same after shoveling it in non-stop for half-an-hour.

Finally a little bit of advice: don't bother with the Udon noodles. Yes, they taste good in the sukiyaki sauce, but they totally take up the whole pot and can really end up fucking up your flow: better to stick with meat and veges. It should also be noted that Posh is still young, and I have absolutely no idea if at some point in the future things like sushi and tempura will be added to the menu. At this point in time I would say the price for all-you-can-eat is fair, but it's not exactly the deal of the century (although the bottomless pop is a plus). I may have left loving the Passionfruit 7-Up more than I did most of the food, but I'd still say Posh is worth checking out.


Price: $24

Rating
3.6/5

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Raymonds on Admirals Re-brands Itself as 'Royal Palace'?

Yes, that's right - the Victoria Buffet Blog is not dead!

What seems to be dead though is the name 'Raymond's' at it's (now previous?) location on Admirals in View Royal! Perhaps, they have gone through a re-branding as the site still sports the Raymond-esque neon signs, but this time with the name Royal Palace.

Interestingly enough, their window-posted menu claims "WE ARE THE BEST BUFFET IN TOWN" which as you can see contradicts the ratings to the immediate right of this text ->


Apart from the signs and name, it appears Raym.. er Royal Palace will only be offering a Lunch Buffet with this new iteration. Moreover, if this restaurant really did just go through a name change, and their food quality remains the same, I can assure you they are NOT the best buffet in town which can be noted from the previous review of Raymonds at the same location.

Expect a review up early next week.

Thursday, July 30, 2009

Goodbye everybody!

Health issue’s force Victoria’s Buffet King to call it quits


FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE


VICTORIA, B.C | JULY 30, 2009 - - Guy Alaimo, the main writer and creator of the Victoria Buffet Blog, has called it a career and is retiring from the world of buffet reviewing at the age of 24 citing declining overall health.

In an interview conducted with the CBC mere months after launching the blog, Alaimo mentioned heart palpitations and other health issues he suffered due to extreme overeating. Sadly the sound of those palpitations has grown too loud to ignore.

“I just got out of hand,” says Alaimo. “I was obviously suffering from a severe eating disorder, and I was channeling that energy into my blog. It’s time to get serious and change my life if I plan on being alive in a few years.”

Alaimo provided the people of Victoria with one of the city’s first specialized food review blogs, reviewing every buffet restaurant in the city in just over a year of service.

As of July 29, 2009, Alaimo tipped the scales at 270 pounds, 50 pounds more than what he weighed when the Victoria Buffet Blog debuted in March, 2008.

Alaimo is also a contributing writer for the Victoria Burger Blog, though it is not known whether he plans on retiring from his burger reviewing career as well.

Listen to Alaimo's official retirement announcement

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

B.C Ferries Pacific Buffet - Breakfast - Spirit of British Columbia, Spirit of Vancouver and the Coastal Celebration - http://www.bcferries.com/

I, like my older brother, have had many, many wonderful childhood memories of eating on the ferry buffet. From school field trips, to traveling across for sports competitions, I always looked forward to gorging on the immense offering while sailing between the island and mainland. Of course, not all ferries offer this opportunity, and I would always become extremely disappointed when I did not see the distinctive exhaust stacks of the Spirit of British Columbia, or the Spirit of Vancouver Island slowly pull up to berth from my car window.


On a recent concert trip to Vancouver, my friends and I hit up the glorious Pacific Buffetlocated at the stern of the Spirit of British Columbia on the main passenger deck. Of course it being the 9 A.M. sailing, we just had to have breakfast, and I must say – the breakfast buffet on the ferry has always been my favourite – especially after becoming food poisoned by the seemingly harmless and legendary sunshine breakfast during a sports trip back in ‘06.

The breakfast buffet is separated into three lines – one for main dishes, another for fruit and cereal, and another for dessert/sweet breakfast items.

From the main line, items included – scrambled eggs, hard boiled eggs, corned beef hash, grilled sausages, ham, cheese omelette, dim sum, ratatouille, potato patties, cinnamon swirl toast, and croissants.

The first item one sees entering the main line is the “scrambled” eggs… I’m sure some people remember their first trip to the breakfast buffet and questioning the compact looking yellow substance in the metal tray in front of them at least for a second or two. Yes the eggs look a bit off; however, they are not farm fresh, but powdered. If you prefer whole/real eggs, you’re only option is to grab the hard boiled eggs adjacent to the “scrambled” eggs. I’m not sure if the cheese omelette uses real eggs or powdered, but it was very good regardless.

To be honest, I don’t like breakfast sausages. Every time I have had them at breakfast buffets – hell, even at traditional breakfast, I have found them to be fatty and disgusting. I’d rather stick to bacon. Unfortunately, bacon was not available so I did eat the sausage and I must say it is the BEST breakfast sausage I have ever had. Perhaps it’s due to the fact it is grilled, or the combination of spices, but I’m glad I did not pass it up.

I’ve always enjoyed the corn beef hash provided at the buffet. The mix of potato, corned beef, and some other ingredients I can only guess at always makes me go back for more. Other items on the main line that I tried and found decent are the ham, potato patties and dim sum. I found it quite odd the buffet was offering dim sum for breakfast as I have been informed by a friend it is traditionally an item offered at brunch.

After filling up the first plate from the main line, I personally love to douse the eggs, corned beef hash, potato patties, and sausage with sweet maple syrup. In the good ol’ days, one would be able to bring back individual servings of maple syrup back to the table for a discrete pour. Alas, gone are those days, and I had to pour the syrup from a single flask located near the toaster into a small bowl to bring back to the table. I still get raised eye-brows from those I sit with.

From the line next to the main, items included – fresh fruit, organic yogurt and assorted cereals complete with toppings such as cranberry, granola, and dehydrated bananas. The yogurt served was in individual cups of the brand Olympic , and if I even remotely interested in eating cereal at a breakfast buffet, I’m sure I would have enjoyed the toppings offered.

From the third line, items included – Belgium waffles with strawberry and whipped cream, assorted cold cuts, candied salmon, and other sweets. The candied salmon was exquisite and definitely worth filling half a plate. Belgium waffles are always oh so good and absolutely wonderful with the supplied toppings. A friend of mine had the following to say about the waffles.

“I must say the waffles with whipped cream and strawberries topped were some of the best I’ve ever had, mainly because it wasn’t overly sweet like how a lot of breakfast places offer. The strawberry syrup wasn’t laden with sugar, and neither was the whipped cream. It allowed the flavours to come through instead of being overshadowed by the sugar.

Finally, many drinks are available for enjoyment such as orange juice, coffee, assorted teas, 2% milk, hot chocolate, and Coca Cola soft drinks. Of course with many buffets, the glasses provided for the cold drinks are fairly small so one must walk back and forth several times or fill up more than once. As a remedy in my younger-years, I would always grab a couple large cups from the cafeteria, and stuff them in my backpack before entering the buffet. Several trips back to the drinks section were reduced to one or two.

Overall, the breakfast ferry buffet is a great start to the morning aboard a BC ferry. Not only do they provide a variety of traditional breakfast items, but also healthy items such as fruit and cereal. As mentioned by many people, the view can’t be beat and I feel my brother has previously summed the experience up nicely - “The Pacific Buffet has a monopoly on ferry buffets, and offers a relaxing view of the ocean, far away from the rat-race of the white-spot cafeteria and sandwich bars on the other side of the boat”

If you’ve got the stomach real-estate, the cash-flow, and will be traveling on either the, Spirit of British Columbia, Spirit of Vancouver Island, or Coastal Celebration between 7-10 AM, be sure to grab a table inside the breakfast buffet while sailing between Swartz Bay and Tsawwassen.

Price: $16.50 + tax for adults

$9.50 + tax for children 5 to 11 years of age.

3.7 / 5